Tiny ones get lesson in etiquette, manners

Published 12:00 am Monday, May 21, 2001

First-grader Paige Fowler gives a toast to her classmate, McMillan Crevitt, at a manners lunch at Piccadilly restaurant Saturday. (The Vicksburg Post/MELANIE DUNCAN)

[05/21/01] Standing at the chalkboard of the first-grade class, Velma Wince asks a question that befuddles some adults. “Who knows what a salad fork is?” Dozens of little hands shoot into the air, each child eager to explain the purpose of the smaller fork placed outside the dinner fork.

Today’s lesson, the final of the year, involves table settings. Wince asks where items such as plates, forks and knives should go, the students, in turn, glue appropriate cutouts to their proper places on their paper place mats.

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Proper etiquette has become old hat to these 6- and 7-year-olds, thanks to a yearlong course by Wince, theme coordinator at Warrenton Elementary, a traditional school that emphasizes love of country and family.

Each week, she rotates among the first-grade classes offering her lessons of etiquette and every day courtesies from saying thank you to being polite on the telephone and it shows.

“The toughest thing is saying no thank you,'” said Conor Burnett, a 6-year-old girl, whose polite smile reveals four new gaps in her front teeth. “Because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.”

Others find different challenges when it comes to rules of proper behavior. “It’s hard because you might forget something,” said Jarvis Rader, 6, who sits patiently with his napkin in his lap and a piece of cake tempting him from his desktop. His favorite lesson was learning “not to lick the knife,” he said, “and to talk nice to people when you’re on the phone.”

When the Vicksburg Warren School District revamped elementaries into a choice-based structure two years ago, themes were assigned to each school. Lessons in reading, writing and math are the same at every school, but Warrenton’s emphasis includes manners, among other things.

“You have to get them when they’re little,” says Roberta Lovett, the regular first-grade teacher, whose students are diligently working under Wince’s direction to paste miniature knives and plates in their proper spots. “They need to know that there’s more than McDonald’s and Churchs out there, that there is a proper way to do this,” says Lovett.

Wince, a master teacher and twice-named teacher of the year during her 20-plus years in the classroom, came up with the program, and tested it last school year on a part-time basis before expanding it to full-time. The program has created some startling results.

“To me, our children seem to be, how would I put it before we started, when I spoke to children in the hall, they would mumble a hello,” said Medric Faulkner, Warrenton Elementary’s principal. “Now it’s Good morning, Mr. Faulkner.'” Beyond good manners, Faulkner has also seen ancillary benefits. “I’ve seen a definite decline in discipline in the amount of punishment and suspensions schoolwide,” he said. Although he has no hard data to prove it, he also thinks the etiquette class is improving the children’s academic performance. “I would think knowing how to be more mannerable would have a direct effect on academics,” he said.

He attributes the better behavior in the lessons the children learn, and from the role model Wince provides. “Mrs. Wince is just the epitome of ladylike behavior, and the model she gives to children of being a lady is invaluable to me,” Faulkner said.

Many of these children come from difficult home situations where manners may not be taught, Lovett explained. Yet they are picking up proper etiquette, and enforcing it among their peers. “I observe them in the cafeteria,” said Wince, a petite, well-spoken woman. “If they see me walk in, they say, Oh, put your napkin in your lap.’ I also hear more excuse me’s’ and thank you’s.’ They seem more mindful of things and will correct each other.”

But the children are also enjoying the challenge of implementing new skills. “It’s fun,” said Brandon Jobe, 6. “So when you go and do it (at home), your mom might say, Good, you’ve learned manners.'” He demonstrated: “Get a tissue if you’re at the table, say excuse me and turn your head away,” he said, faking a sneeze but diligently covering his mouth with a napkin.