[11/28/04] I don’t need the calendar or the weather to tell me it’s almost Christmas.

I know it’s close to Christmas because I got my annual budget limit from Santa Claus.

He said he can spend $100 on me this year.

Last year he felt guilty because he left for a trip two days before Christmas, so I got two pieces of expensive Swiss Army luggage as well as an assortment of other small gifts. He also cooked a ham and left it in the refrigerator with instructions on how to heat it up for Christmas dinner.

Instead, my sister and I sat smoking cigarettes and drinking vodka tonics at Borrello’s on Christmas Eve discussing how badly we’ve been handled by Santa Claus over the years until the waitress practically begged everybody to leave the bar so she could be with her children. But this year, Santa Claus is staying home and cooking Christmas dinner.

Standing in Santa’s kitchen a few weeks before Thanksgiving, I mentioned that what I really wanted was a food processor but I thought a good one might be at least $100.

He allowed that was probably true but that he had one that he hardly used because he thinks it’s too much trouble. I could have it, he said, and it wouldn’t go against my $100.

I was a little stunned by his generosity so I quickly loaded up the almost new Hamilton Beach food processor and took it home before he changed his mind. I told Santa I’d have to think about what else I might want and get back to him.

Santa is not patient. He rolled his eyes and told me to hurry.

Safe in my own kitchen and looking out at my back yard, I remembered what I’ve been wanting, so I called him back.

“I want a chiminea. I think you can get them for about $45 at that place on Mississippi 49. And I want a grill. Charcoal. Not gas. You can get those for $15 or $20,” I said, waiting for approval. Santa has to approve our selections.

“Oh, those are good gifts,” he said, “But you don’t want a grill that cheap. We’ll find a better one.”

The way it works is that once Santa gives my sister and I the thumbs up, we’re not supposed to mention the gifts again so that we can act surprised when we get them.

And, also, Santa has final veto power with no need for discussion. Santa does quite frequently change his mind.

I may get something instead of what I asked, or I may get things I didn’t request. They’re all good gifts, though. As my niece, Hallie, said on her fifth birthday last week about the doll she got, “I didn’t even want this. But I like it.”

To Santa’s credit, he always explains: “I looked at them but decided you didn’t really need one,” or “It was ugly. You wouldn’t have liked it as much as you thought.”

I’m feeling pretty confident that my choices for this year will make Santa’s final cut. So confident am I that I’m letting the stack of limbs and branches pile up for that first big chiminea fire the day after Christmas. But if Santa decides differently, I will understand because, after all, Santa knows best.

Sonya Kimbrell is features editor of The Vicksburg Post. E-mail her at skimbrell@vicksburgpost.com.