[3/24/05] Anyone who can say with a straight face that he or she has picked the entire first two rounds of the NCAA Tournament correctly is either a liar or needs to seek counseling.

Can anyone other than residents of the UW-Milwaukee campus say they picked that school to be in the Sweet 16? Is there a person on the planet who pegged North Carolina State to meet Wisconsin while Connecticut and Kansas teams move to the golf course?

Perusing my bracket, there are more slashes for wrong answers than were on my SAT. The bracket resembles more of a kindergartner’s finger paiting assignment than actually picking basketball games.

The nameplate on my desk says I am a professional sports journalist with instincts and knowledge of the events I cover. I’ve been watching and covering basketball for 15 years.

So how is it then that my mother picked the Bucknell upset of Kansas in the first round? I asked and her answer put picking college basketball in perspective: “Our next door neighbor in our first house in Round Lake (a small town north of Albany, N.Y.) graduated from Bucknell.”

She picked Vermont to beat Syracuse because she likes Vermont, the state, better than Syracuse, the city. She actually picked Villanova to beat Florida because, “I like their coach, Rollie-something.” Rollie Massimino resigned from Villanova in 1992.

While people like me sit and compare scoring ratios, points allowed when the temperature outside if at least 40 degrees and there are at least 13,000 in attendance, mom picks the correct teams because a neighbor 34 years ago graduated from a school somewhere on Pennsylvania.

The science of picking college basketball games is as reliable as a 1983 Renault. There is no science.

Having such terrible luck picking the first- and second-round games, I am officially scrapping my bracket and starting anew.

In Syracuse, I like a Tobacco Bowl final between North Carolina State and North Carolina.

In Chicago, I like the Illinois Fighting Illini and Oklahoma State Cowboys to play for a trip to the Final Four in a modern-day battle of Cowboys and Indians.

In Austin, Duke will reach the Final Four because my sister is a physical therapist at Duke University Medical Center and my nephew was born there. They’ll beat Kentucky so at least we have two more games to look at Ashley Judd in the stands.

Finally in New Mexico, Louisville and Texas Tech will advance. Bobby Knight against Rick Pitino for a trip to the Final Four.

I like Texas Tech, the Pride of Lubbock, to win that matchup because former Warren Central pitcher Taylor Tankersley’s grandparents live in Lubbock and they bought me a sweet tea at Cracker Barrel during one of their trips to see their grandson pitch at the University of Alabama.

Hey, it’s as good as reason as any.