The day Leslie Spiers went on the rampage at her home, breaking things, trashing rooms and yelling, her partner left and came back with the police.

Spiers was arrested and charged with domestic abuse. The court sentenced her to 10 days in jail, suspended if she completed a domestic violence counseling course. She was assigned to the Violence Intervention Program, run by Ed Simpson of Simpson’s Counseling and Consulting.

For help

Victims

* The Mississippi Coalition Against Domestic Violence —  Extensive information on laws, shelters and agencies for assistance ;800-898-3234, 8 a.m.-5 p.m. Monday through Friday; 800-799-7233, weekends and after hours; www.mcadv.org.

* Haven House — Vicksburg shelter for women and children in abusive households; 601-638-0555.

* National Domestic Violence Hotline — 800-799-7233.

Abusers

* Ed Simpson’s Violence Intervention Program — 18-week program for men and women; $400, including an intake fee of $40 and installments of $20 payable before each session; 919 Belmont St., Suite 2, 601-883-0032.

* Warren-Yazoo Mental Health Offenders of Domestic Abuse Program — 12-week program for men only; $325 at $25 per session; 3442 Wisconsin Ave.; 601-634-0181, ext. 3310.

Spiers, 34, had been in counseling nearly all her life, treated for stress, anxiety and depression. She was angry about being arrested and angry about the sentence.

When Simpson gave her the coursework, “that blue notebook hit the trash,” she said. “I threw away the intake paperwork.

“They literally arrested me again for not going to the meetings. But the judge was determined that I was going to do this.”

Now Spiers credits Simpson’s program with changing not just her relationships with others, including her children, but helping her get off all anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medications as well.

Simpson’s group counseling sessions always begin with abusers stating their names, how they ended up in the program, and why they are there: “I’m here to stop the violence,” they say.

One abuse victim said that requiring convicted abusers to attend counseling, with consequences if they didn’t, “would be huge” in terms of helping families or couples torn by violence.

“When I do sentence someone to counseling, I tell them, ‘This is not a punishment, but hopefully will help you with other relationships and keep you out of court,’” said Vicksburg Municipal Court Judge Walterine Langford, who presides over first- and second-offense domestic abuse misdemeanors.

Besides Simpson’s VIP, city judges also assign convicted abusers to the Offenders of Domestic Abuse Program at the Warren-Yazoo Mental Health facility on Wisconsin Avenue, administered by Michael Lindsay.

“The first thing we do is just identify, ‘What is abuse?’” Lindsay said. “It can be calling names. Using profanity. Acting in anger to get power and control.” Abuse is not just yelling or battering but can include silence, ignoring the spouse or partner, walking out of the room when the person is speaking.

According to the U.S. Office on Violence Against Women, domestic violence is any “pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.”

Bureau of Justice statistics show that women are about six times more likely than men to experience domestic violence. It occurs between spouses, parents and children, between homosexual and heterosexual couples, and without regard for education or socioeconomic level.

Local police statistics on domestic abuse arrests require special computer programming to track, but a 2005 report by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence stated that Mississippi ranks second highest in the nation for domestic violence. “In the last three months of 2004 alone, the Mississippi Coalition Against Domestic Violence received 10,888 crisis calls,” the report states. Abusers cannot change by themselves, the MCADV says. They need intervention counseling.

“What we often see is that abusers have a lack of awareness and a lack of personal responsibility.” Increasing awareness causes change, or at least opens up the opportunity for change, Lindsay said.

Simpson has a copy of the Serenity Prayer in his office: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.” He says it takes courage to change.

“Courage” is not a word often linked with the domestic abuse offender, and yet both counseling programs require the abuser to honestly and realistically confront some painful truths.

Both Simpson and Lindsay said that like Spiers, many abusers enroll in their programs only because they must to avoid serving jail time.

One abuse victim said, “I would have loved if he’d been sent to counseling,” she said. “He would never accept responsibility for what he was doing.”

“The most difficult thing is getting them to accept that their behavior is violent,” Simpson said.

And while group meetings show them that they are not alone in having a problem and needing help, they also do not like to open up in front of other people, Lindsay said.

Once Spiers settled down and accepted the fact that she was going to have to complete Simpson’s program, she found that he helped her take a good look at herself. “He’s very observant with us,” she said. “He picked me apart to get it out of me. It was like being under a microscope. But I came to trust him completely.”

Spiers still has her second workbook, the one she had to pay extra for after she threw the first one away in defiance. She keeps it as a reference and continues to use it when she feels like she needs a refresher. She stays in contact with Simpson and sometimes attends group meetings.

“The best part of the program was getting to know me, what triggers my stresses. And learning that I’m able to control it, and understand where all this comes from,” Spiers said. “I still feel the laws are not there — for either party. I got help, yeah, but it’s still a struggle within the relationship.”

On May 30, the Mississippi Supreme Court ordered a complete review of all state laws and regulations related to domestic abuse, establishing the Commission for Study of Domestic Abuse Proceedings. The report was expected to be filed by Dec. 1, but co-chairman Heather Wagner, director of the Attorney General’s Domestic Violence Division, said the commission is finding there are so many issues to consider, they will ask for an extension.

Mandated counseling for convicted offenders is one of those issues, Wagner said in a telephone interview. “It is on the table, but we have not gotten to focus on that issue yet,” she said. “We do need to include that type of resource for offenders throughout the state, including the more rural areas.”

In her work with victims and offenders, Wagner has not dealt with people who have gone through domestic violence counseling programs, but said that the Mississippi Coalition Against Domestic Violence recognizes two of the programs Simpson drew from in developing his VIP, Minnesota’s Duluth model and Massachusetts’ Emerge, as excellent programs.

A big issue for Spiers was, and remains, that her partner did not have to go, too. A relationship takes two, she said, and if one of the two has to go through the program the other one should, too. “Otherwise you are putting into practice what you are learning, and they don’t understand it.”

Municipal Court Judge Allen Derivaux has served in Vicksburg city court as either an assistant or lead city judge since 1995, presiding over misdemeanor cases that include domestic disputes.

Derivaux said he often sentences offenders to counseling — either Simpson’s or the Warren-Yazoo program. He said it’s a good idea for both spouses or partners to get counseling, but pointed out that “the courts have no leverage over the victim” in a domestic abuse case. “We can’t require them to do anything.”

Langford said she weighs many different factors in deciding whether to refer an offender, including the cost of the programs. “They’re not free,” she pointed out. “If a person has no income but they are put in a situation where they already cannot comply with my court order, that’s just additional stress that I’m adding.”

But Wagner, of the attorney general’s office, said the sting of financial consequences can be part of convincing the abuser to change. “It gets their attention.”

Do the counseling programs work? Lindsay said, “Yes, but… the offender has to be open to change. He has to be honest. If an individual is honest, he can make changes.”

“It works if the individual wants it to work,” Simpson said. “When you talk about a life change or a behavior change, yes, you’ll see it work.”

“You have to open yourself up to what he says, or it won’t do any good,” Spiers said. “I think I came out a better person because of it.”

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Contact Pamela Hitchins at phitchins@vicksburgpost.com.