Writer disagrees with move to remove monuments

Published 9:48 am Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Dear editor,

Well, while we are tearing down Confederate statues and monuments, let me dig back through all of our old photographs and videos to see which ones I need to purge because they may include an image or a reminder of an ex-daughter-in-law, or ex-son-in-law, or ex-whomever.

I should not keep any of those because, even though they are part of our history, they are bad, bad, bad and need to be destroyed. It doesn’t matter that in destroying those dastardly evil video clips and photos that I may end up cutting out some or all of my loved ones.

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Oh, and I do not want to forget any of our ancestors who may have been dangerous native Americans, or southern by birth, or who may have had any association whatsoever with the slave trade or the owning of slaves or of any bootlegging operations.

Oh, Oh, Oh, lest I forget, I gotta get rid of any evidence of distant relatives with ties to Germany, Italy, Russia, and…. oh , this may take longer than the rest of my life. But, hey, it has got to be done so that future generations will have no clue what may have occurred in our family history.

We want to remain seen as pristine and totally holy.

Oh golly, gotta find all those old songs that still have the original lines as in My Old Kentucky Home… would never want to retain works of art in their original form.

And all those old recordings of Amos and Andy, The Little Rascals, Gone With The Wind etc., etc… they gotta go as they surely are blasphemy.

Let’s just burn all the books while we are at it.


And as much as I hate to, the Bible must go also because it is just loaded with fornication, incest, murder….
Why don’t we just build another Noah’s Ark and destroy everyone and everything except for, uh, uh…… Where are we gonna find one of each to save that is pure enough according to some peoples’ standards? I wonder…..

Martha Boone