One of the most challenging jobs for me as a parent has been to step back and let my kids figure out how to live their life decisions on their own.

When my girls were younger, if one of them wanted to put a ponytail in their hair, I was right there doing it for them. I knew I could brush their hair back neater than they could.

I mean who wants a messy hairdo?

And when it came to clothing, I was certainly a control freak. I assumed I always knew what would look most attractive to wear.

You can only imagine the number of arguments, I mean discussions, we had about their attire.

Sad to say, on many occasions, it should never have even been an issue.

If they wanted to wear loafers with a party dress, I really should have shut my mouth and gotten out of their way.

No one was going to get hurt from this oddly matched ensemble.

Unfortunately, there are still times when this type of behavior of mine has carried-on into their adulthood because I still seem to have trouble letting them make their own decisions.

My two oldest daughters, thankfully, seem to be parenting a bit differently than me.

My oldest has no qualms when her five-year-old son puts his shoes on the wrong feet.

If frustrates me when I see him with the left shoe on the right foot and the right shoe on the left foot. Not only does it look awkward, I feel certain it inhibits his walking and running.

I would never have let any of my little ones suffer like that.

So, when I asked her, “Why do you not help him out with his shoes?” Her reply was, “then he will never learn how to do it for himself.”

Parents who are like me, there is a HUGE lesson here.

Children, early on, need to learn how to take care of themselves.

Because it will then allow them to learn how to take ownership in their choices and responsibilities for their actions.

My grandson may trip over his feet a couple of times because his shoes are on the wrong feet, and he may even experience a little discomfort.

There also may even be a classmate that will make fun of him because wearing your shoes on the wrong feet looks strange.

However, what I am beginning to realize, finally, is that wisdom will eventually prevail if you just allow it to occur.

There is no doubt in my mind that my grandson will eventually figure out the left shoe from the right shoe, and when he does, he will get to revel in HIS accomplishment. 

And no doubt he will run faster than ever!

Terri Cowart Frazier is a staff writer for The Vicksburg Post. You may reach her at terri.frazier@vicksburgpost.com.