Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Published 12:00 am Saturday, April 25, 2015
I have four vacuum cleaners, five if you count the one I keep in the back of my vehicle. Some of you may think that qualifies me as a clean freak, and if that is what you want to think, fine by me.
It does not bother me one little bit to be compared to the Felix Unger types. What is wrong with wanting everything tidied up and clean?
I do not mean to be bragging, but cleanliness is next to godliness, right?
Unfortunately, I do fear that there are those that might be less than impressed with my borderline OCD tendencies.
I cannot tell you how many times I have had repair men look at me like I am crazy when I ask them to take their shoes off before they come in my house. I know, it could be a little irksome for them to keep taking their shoes on and off when they go to and from the house to their trucks to retrieve a needed part, but really, those tire-tread-like soles on the bottom of their boots are like a sanctuary for mud and dirt to gather.
Once, I gave a pair of disposable booties to one worker. I noticed his boots laced half way up his leg, and I feared there might be retribution if I asked him to repeatedly remove his boots.
FYI, the booties are a one-size-fits-all, and I found them at the hardware store.
It baffles me that wearing these booties is not a requirement for those having to do inside jobs.
I would love to say that it is just the technicians who are annoyed with my rules, but unfortunately, there have also been a few sneers from my daughters’ male visitors.
One poor little boy friend looked mortified when my daughter told him everyone has to take their shoes off at the back door. Poor guy, he had a hole in his sock, and I think he was a little embarrassed.
I have tried to be more laid back when it comes to cleaning, but it is in my genes, and not only is my mother’s house immaculate, some of my married-in family members also value a spick and span home.
Like me, my sister-in-law sometimes leaves her vacuum out and on call for work at a moments notice. I remember one time after she purchased a new beautiful canister style vacuum, she told me my brother said that if it has to sit out all the time, at least it looks like a piece of furniture.
I think he and I share a humor gene!
As for genetic traits, my children have other ideas for how to spend their time besides cleaning all the time, so in order to assure that they dust their homes occasionally, I have a plan.
It is my desire to be cremated, so I told them I would gladly divide my ashes between the four of them. I suggested they each put their share of my remains in a beautiful oriental urn, and once a week they could remember all the good times they had with me while dusting off the vessel.
Without any hesitation, my oldest daughter immediately looked at her siblings and said, “I think we should just dump her on the floor and vacuum her up. It’s where she would be most at home.”
For Pete’s sake, I hope it is at least a good-looking vacuum model!
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Terri Cowart Frazier is a reporter and can be reached by email at terri.cowart@vicksburgpost.com or by phone at 601-636-4545.