A well-placed train saves hurt feelings

Published 12:36 am Saturday, June 25, 2016

I cannot tell you the number of times I have purposely uttered the words, “If they would only listen to me, everything would be great!”

I say the words in jest, but to be perfectly honest there are some dilemmas I believe I could solve.

Take for instance home design. When my daughter and son-in-law asked me if I would help pick out paint colors for their house, I said sure.

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I mean, goodness knows, I have perused enough magazines and coffee table books dedicated to decorating that I should be awarded an honorary degree in interior design.

Nonetheless, I drove out to their new home before taking on the task so I could size up my project.

I went from room to room evaluating light and function so I could find the perfect color to make their house lovely.

Of course, because I think I know so much about decorating, I also saw a couple of other projects that would make their space “pop.”

“Pop” is the word all the designers are using on HGTV. I assume it means that something stands out and looks good!

After visiting the paint store and picking out some colors, I called to let the children know I had made my selections and to inform them of the other ideas I had about their home.

They seemed enthusiastic about my thoughts, and I was feeling pleased.

A few days later, I received a call from my oldest informing me they were on their way to the paint store to pick out colors for their house, and they asked if I could come.

I was very confused. I had already mapped out a plan. Why did they need to go to the paint store?

While there, we all looked at the array of possible colors, and they decided on a couple of samples to try on the wall.

I was also made aware that they were not completely on board with my other home improvement suggestions.

I was a bit upset.

OK, I was a lot upset.

The kids loaded up their paint and headed back out to the house to test it on the walls. I hesitated on whether or not I should following them back, but I did.

Fortunately, a train stopped me before I arrived.

I think the pause was purposely placed before me just as other hiccups in life can help us take stock because I realized my kids had not asked me to take over all the design decisions, just merely to help.

There are times for all of us when we may think we know what is best and how to solve someone else’s problem, and there are times we do. But, the thing is, we do not get to make those decisions because they are not ours to make.

This can be a challenge for me sometimes, especially when I think I am right.

I do not know how many more trains I will need in my lifetime, but I sure am glad I was stopped and had the opportunity to put things into perspective.

But just for the record, I still think the beams need to be painted!


Terri Coward Frazier is a staff writer at The Vicksburg Post. You may reach her at terri.frazier@vicksburgpost.com. Readers are invited to submit their opinions for publication.

About Terri Cowart Frazier

Terri Frazier was born in Cleveland. Shortly afterward, the family moved to Vicksburg. She is a part-time reporter at The Vicksburg Post and is the editor of the Vicksburg Living Magazine, which has been awarded First Place by the Mississippi Press Association. She has also been the recipient of a First Place award in the MPA’s Better Newspaper Contest’s editorial division for the “Best Feature Story.”

Terri graduated from Warren Central High School and Mississippi State University where she received a bachelor’s degree in communications with an emphasis in public relations.

Prior to coming to work at The Post a little more than 10 years ago, she did some freelancing at the Jackson Free Press. But for most of her life, she enjoyed being a full-time stay at home mom.

Terri is a member of the Crawford Street United Methodist Church. She is a lifetime member of the Vicksburg Junior Auxiliary and is a past member of the Sampler Antique Club and Town and Country Garden Club. She is married to Dr. Walter Frazier.

“From staying informed with local governmental issues to hearing the stories of its people, a hometown newspaper is vital to a community. I have felt privileged to be part of a dedicated team at The Post throughout my tenure and hope that with theirs and with local support, I will be able to continue to grow and hone in on my skills as I help share the stories in Vicksburg. When asked what I like most about my job, my answer is always ‘the people.’

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