Dak’s success is one of my Festivus grievances

Published 9:22 am Thursday, December 15, 2016

Happy Festivus, everyone!

If you’re not familiar with Festivus, it’s an alternate December holiday created out of thin air by the 1990s sitcom “Seinfeld” and which has since earned a cult following. Two of its key features are the feats of strength — a wrestling match in which a challenger must defeat the head of household — and the airing of grievances.

Since the printed page doesn’t lend itself to a wrestling match, and because I simply cannot think of another column idea this week, I figured we’d celebrate Festivus by airing some grievances with the sports world, and the world at large.

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I’ve got a lot of problems with you people …

• Dak Prescott: All my life, I’ve hated the Dallas Cowboys. I grew up in New Jersey, where people root for the Eagles or Giants and almost everyone hates the Cowboys. When they won a bunch of Super Bowls in the early 1990s, I was reminded why and never forgot it.

The last 20 years have been awesome. Seeing the Cowboys be perpetually 8-8 is even better than if they were 1-15 every year.

And then along comes Dak. Great guy, with Mississippi ties, that I can’t help but root for. The only problem is he plays for the Cowboys, the team I’ve been sworn to despise.
Thanks a lot, Dak, for making me smile and hate myself at the same time while watching you play.

• Commercials where someone gives an expensive car as a gift: “Merry Christmas, honey! Here’s your new Lexus! Oh, by the way, you have a $550 payment due on January 25.”

• Soccer: It’s not so much the sport as when it’s played. You shouldn’t have to build a bonfire in an oil drum just to survive a four-hour high school doubleheader with all of your fingers intact.

• Fantasy football: I don’t live and die with my imaginary team like I once did, but it’s still maddening. How can Drew Brees score a total of three points in two weeks and nearly drop me out of a spot? That was two weeks after Rob Gronkowski turned into Mr. Glass.

Dez Bryant is a great receiver, except the year I draft him. Just another reason to hate-root for the Cowboys.

Well, that felt good. Now go enjoy Festivus for the rest of us.

Ernest Bowker is a sports writer for The Vicksburg Post. He can be reached at ernest.bowker@vicksburgpost.com

About Ernest Bowker

Ernest Bowker is The Vicksburg Post's sports editor. He has been a member of The Vicksburg Post's sports staff since 1998, making him one of the longest-tenured reporters in the paper's 140-year history. The New Jersey native is a graduate of LSU. In his career, he has won more than 50 awards from the Mississippi Press Association and Associated Press for his coverage of local sports in Vicksburg.

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