You’re never too old to say, ‘Mom-meeee!’

Published 12:00 am Sunday, May 10, 2009

Wake up this morning, Mom, eat the runny-egg breakfast your 4-year-old child has cooked for you and take a bow — it’s Mother’s Day and you have the most difficult job on Earth.

You won’t see the cable TV show “Dirty Jobs” visiting a mother who has the dirtiest job of all — diaper duty.

She usually plays the bad cop to Dad’s good cop. Dad will take you to the ball game and toss around the football during a tailgate party, while Mom lays down the law. Growing up you will learn Mom was setting the foundation for the future.

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She is disrespected repeatedly. Is there anything worse than an “I’m pretending to be sick from school today and when you begin to vacuum the floor, I will not lift a finger, but rather hoist my legs in the air so you can vacuum under them?”

She is taken for granted constantly. She wiped your backside, cleaned up the result of the your car sickness and was there when the monsters invaded the bedroom closet and never asked for a thank you.

She cooks every night for an entire family — and that involves more than heating up hot dogs. Try cooking one night a week using one of the family recipes and it’s difficult to fathom how she did that six days a week. She usually gets thanked by finding herself in the kitchen by herself with a sink full of dirty dishes.

She’ll get you to puberty when every child becomes a demon, but she never wavers in her love and takes everything the most miserable-acting 15-year-old has to offer.

One day a year, though, it is Mom’s day. She certainly should have more than one day and we should make every day Mother’s Day because she has chosen to make every day Kids’ Day.

For one day, she will be put on the pedestal she should occupy every day. No matter what we do to her, the beauty of unconditional love will not allow her to throw us aside.

Wake up this morning quietly and let Mom sleep in for one day. Go into the kitchen and get crackin’ on those scrambled eggs — you may need to ask Dad for a bit of help on that one. Find her favorite music and when you hear her get up, turn the music up just a bit.

When she is done eating, immediately reach for the plate and get into the kitchen.

And most importantly remember that when things are at their lowest and circumstances seem dire, remember whose name you will be calling to come to the rescue.